Story Excerpt
Just Bob

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My name is Bob. It's just Bob. Not even Robert or Roberto or anything as exciting as that. It's just Bob. Bob Mills. It's not a fancy name or a name that inspires great romantic tales. No one writes odes to Bob. No one screams Bob during great heights of passion. There are no great masterpieces with Bob as the main character. I can't even think of any fictional characters named Bob.

There were times I wanted to smack my parents for naming me Bob. I wasn't even named after someone. They just picked the name out of the air and slapped me with a lifetime of mundane and boring.

To make matters worse, I'm an accountant and I wear glasses. I own a cat. I have a library card and I actually use it. If the karmic universe could have crapped on someone, I was it.

Exciting, right?

Yeah, no. There is nothing exciting in my life.

Ever.

I get up in the morning, shower, eat breakfast, dress, go to work, keep my mouth shut when I have to deal with idiots—which happens more often than you would think—and then I come home, make dinner, read a book or watch TV, and I got to bed only to wake up in the morning to do it all over again.

On the weekends, I break up the monotony by cleaning my house, going to the library to get new books to read, and pick up groceries for the following week. Oh, and every Sunday, I have dinner with my parents.

And if that wasn't enough, I was gay. Being boring in looks and character, my vast experience with sex consisted of one night with a drunken frat boy who was horrified the next day when he woke up and discovered me in his bed.

We never spoke again.

So, yeah, I was cursed at birth with the name Bob and my life has never gotten any better.

Hence, when a man dressed all in black walked into the coffee shop where I was having my break, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, it wasn't like he was there for me or anything.

This was a man with a name like Lance or Sebastian. Maybe Rodrigo.

A sexy name.

He'd never get called Bob.

I do admit, I did stare. I know it was a bit rude, but I couldn't help it. If ever there was a more imposing man ever born, I had never seen him. Crowds parted and crap, people quickly stepping out of his way as he strode straight to the front of the line of people waiting to order coffee.

One man was dumb enough to say something about the man cutting the line. Boy, I was glad it hadn't been me. The spectacular example of genetics didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He just looked at the man who had spoken up until the guy turned and hurried out of the coffee shop.

I chuckled under my breath and went back to reading my book...or at least staring at the pages in between shooting the handsome man quickly glances under my lashes.

He really was pretty. Not runway model pretty, but more "make you scream as he fucked you against a wall" pretty. God, I would love for him to fuck me against a wall.

I wasn't stupid enough to think it would ever happen.

He was probably as straight as they came. Anyone stupid enough to even suggest the guy might be gay would probably end up dead. He looked dangerous enough to shoot someone and not even break a sweat doing it.

The sigh that I let free came from deep within my soul. I was lonely. I admit that right up front. I had been on a couple of dates in my twenty-five years, but they had all been blind dates and I never got invited out for a second date.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't think I was a dog or anything. My mother always said that my brown eyes reminded her of Hershey kisses. I kept my short brown hair neatly trimmed in the latest style. I bathed regularly.

That was a plus.

You wouldn't believe how many people didn't bathe regularly. It was an astonishing number. It was also gross. Why wouldn't you bathe as often as possible?

I didn't understand some people.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. I'm what my mother always said was cute and sweet.

Gack!

No one ever wanted to be referred to as cute and sweet unless you were four.

I wasn't.

I wasn't too fat or too thin. I wasn't too short or too tall. My eyes were brown. Not bright brown or dark chocolate brown—despite what my mother said—just brown. My hair was brown too, not dark chestnut brown or light honey brown. Just brown. Mouse brown.

Hell, I even had freckles over a large majority of my body.

There was nothing spectacular about me.

What I wouldn't give to be sexy. Just once. Just for an hour or so. Just long enough for someone as sexy as "Lance" saw me. Like, really saw me.

I wouldn't turn down a kiss either.

Oh well, it was what it was. My life wasn't going to suddenly turn exciting just because I wished it. I was positive. I had been wishing since I figured out what my dick was for.

"Is this seat taken?"

I knew my mouth was hanging open when I glanced up, but I couldn't help it. Mr. Gorgeous was standing right in front of my small table, asking if he could sit down. Damn. Up close he was even sexier. Even the scar that ran over his left eye from above his eyebrow to his cheek added a rakish look to him.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked again.

My cheeks heated as I shook my head. I watched with a sense of astonishment as the man sat down, placing his cup of coffee and a newspaper on the table in front of him. I peeked up at him again, growing mesmerized by the gray of his eyes. They were stormy gray, like what winter storm clouds looked like just before a blizzard.

When he looked directly at me, I quickly dropped my eyes, the heat in my cheeks burning even more. As pale as my skin was, I had no doubt the stranger could see how red my cheeks were getting.

Curse of being Irish. It would have been marginally okay if I had had the fiery red hair to go with it, but no. I got mouse brown hair.

Thank you Mom and Dad.

I sent the man a friendly smile as I pushed my wire rimmed glasses back up my nose. I didn't think this chance meeting was going to go anywhere, but it never hurt to be friendly, especially with a man that could probably snap me in two.

Unable to hold the man's intense stare, I glanced back down at my book. I wanted to stay right where I was and bask in the aura of such a perfect specimen of manhood, but I also wanted to run for my life before I did something really stupid and got myself punched, or worse, and with as big as this guy's muscles were, there could be a lot of worse.

I sighed when my watch went off. My break was over and no matter how much I wanted to stay, I knew I couldn't. My job wasn't much, but it was mine. I had a little cubicle and everything.

I closed my book and set it down. I made sure to wipe down the table in front of me. I'd had a pastry with my coffee and didn't want to leave behind any crumbs. I hated it when people didn't clean up after themselves. It took about thirty seconds to wipe down the table and gather up my trash.

I grabbed my garbage and my book and stood. I gave the man another friendly smile. "Have a good day," I said. Wishing the man a good day was the least I could do. It also allowed me to look into his turbulent gray eyes one last time.

The guy didn't smile back. He didn't even lift his head to acknowledge my words. Just stared down at his newspaper.

Figures.

It was a cliché to say all the beautiful people were mean, but damn. The least the guy could do was acknowledge my existence.

Whatever.